❤

xoxo

2011-12-19T14:36:00.001+08:00

Dear baby

2011-12-18T02:42:00.001+08:00

Dear baby,
When will you be mine again?

Always,
Dpsy

Mentally

2011-12-17T17:23:00.001+08:00

Protective

2011-12-16T01:48:00.001+08:00

Why do I think that you are the protective one?

Cos if you really are the protective one, you have let me go just so as not to hurt me.
And letting go of the one you love most just so that the one you love can soar and achieve the unreachable, that is just the most sacrificial thing ever.

Just 3 words

2011-12-16T01:14:00.001+08:00

Just tell me if you love me.

Abmb

2011-12-09T00:55:00.001+08:00

Abmb,
Do you remember?

Bee

2011-12-04T01:08:00.001+08:00

Dear Bee,

I just came to realise, no matter how much I love you, we will never be the same. You will never be honest to me anymore, and I will probably always have doubts in your words.

I am sorry. I don't know how to look forward to your lies. You like to flirt with her, you won't spare a thought for me. If you love me, you won't hurt me at all. But, you always did. Everyday, every single moment.
A simple action of choosing to delete our album and keeping the picture you had with her on your Facebook.

You have no idea how much I HATE Korea.

You have no idea how much I hate Malay girls now.

All these hatred just builds up so that I can love you wholeheartedly.

I love you. And would never stop. But, prove me wrong, if I am wrong.

Do you remember?

2011-11-25T01:33:00.001+08:00

Do you remember, the first meal we had together?
At lavender food centre, wanton mee.

You did night duty, just so to meet me for lunch on my 19th birthday.
You worked so hard, just to meet me for that few hours.

I made barley for you, because, my baby was sick.
I wore a black bandage skirt, and a white knitted top. You said you didn't expect me to wear such short skirts.
You wore jeans, shirt, cap, bagpack, and held your wallet in your hands.

My heart fluttered.

I was perspiring not because of the sun, but because of you, baby.

You asked me to hold on to your wallet for you while you kept your stuff in your humongous bag, I flustered. Holding your wallet, like any girlfriend does.
Yea, I am holding onto it like I am your girl, like you are my boy.

In the midst of all the packing, we came to a junction, and you held my hand, and brought me across the road.
My heart missed a beat.

We walked, came by a corner, you pulled me in, and we kissed.
I almost hyperventilated.

We settled down at a table, you bought us both food.
I asked me to eat, again and again, you kept on nagging me to eat.
I was mesmerized, by your charming eyes, baby. Yes, I forgot food was meant to go into my mouth.

Several many dates passed...
We dated. Like a love bird.
Sweet smiles were the only thing on our face. Often, we just stare into each others eyes.
I know, we both can't believe this day is actually happening, it isn't a dream anymore.

9 July, you made me trust you, to allow you to blindfold me, to allow you to be my only guidance.
You asked me to be your girlfriend. With light sticks on the floor.
I was hesitant, you were disappointed, my heart twisted, I gave in, I said..
"mm".
You werent satisfied with my hesitance, but, we lived happily "ever after".

1year and 2 months passed by..
I am back to square one,
Missing you,
Wanting you,
Loving you.

3 more months passed,
And here I am. All alone in this space.
Hoping I can show you this.
Hoping I could tell you this.
That I loved you.
And I love you.

Baby, will you be my baby?

I miss you..

2011-11-24T19:31:00.001+08:00

I miss you eh... =|

"Love weekdays"

2011-11-23T14:02:00.001+08:00

I new nickname is weekdays.

Do you know?
This is just how much I long to be your love.

I like it this way.

2011-11-20T14:01:00.001+08:00

Last night, was pleasing.
Getting all your attention..

Just as I was about to sway, you held me on.
You captivated my heart once again.

But how long will you hold me hostage.
No one knows...

I am thankful for you listening to me whenever I am upset.
Having your undivided attention is simply blissful.

Dated : 18 nov 2011

I believe..

2011-11-18T23:33:00.001+08:00

I believe we have hope...

Can I?

Call me your baby D, and I will know your answer.

Sadness sets in..

2011-11-15T12:58:00.001+08:00

Silence

2011-11-14T20:33:00.001+08:00

I called you..
And heard your melodic voice...
It was saddening to not be able to hear you call my name.

It would have been a lullaby.

Overwhelming

2011-11-14T19:45:00.001+08:00

I miss you too much today..
I, am having a hard time holding back and not texting you.

Although I have your number deleted from my phone, but I know clearly, that I remember your number..

These rainy these, makes me want you more. How we hug each other on the bus, how we snuggle up in bed.

Cry myself out

2011-11-12T23:06:00.001+08:00

I miss you so so so so badly.
I just can't help but to break down n cry.
Hoping God will see how upset I am without you.
Hoping that He'll return you to me.

I love you so much bby.

Happiness

2011-11-11T11:11:00.001+08:00

I love you

11.11.11

2011-11-11T00:11:00.001+08:00

Special day without you.

Please be well.
Please be happy.
Please recover from all illness.
Please stop having infections.
Please, remember me..

Never a moment.

2011-11-10T16:33:00.001+08:00

Complication

2011-11-10T02:01:00.001+08:00

I love you.

But.

You love her..

Just what..

2011-11-08T20:49:00.001+08:00

Just what have we become?

Worried.

2011-11-05T19:47:00.001+08:00

I am worried for you..
Working out late and schooling the next day..

But who am I in your life?

Nothing.

Getting numbed.

2011-11-03T03:00:00.001+08:00

Getting numbed..

Nothing at all

2011-11-01T07:11:00.001+08:00

I am so upset..
That I meant nothing at all...

Lied to. And not appreciated.
Do you think it's an easy feat knowing the one you love is lying and lying on with him?
After all the pain I put myself through to hold on onto us, you pushed me down and just uttered to me "move on, take care".

Maybe,
Even if we had another chance again, I would be afraid to trust love.
Taking a step into this was hard back then, and yes, it would be even harder in future.

All your lies..
Made me doubt even the truth.
I kinda feel maybe you had a movie date with her the other day.
You must have.

And the Ds on twitter?
Must be her too.
Your darling? dear?

Who am I? I am just Denise.

I don't even know if I would ever visit this space again.
A whole chunk of scars you left me.
So wounded, even I hate myself now.
I am so ugly, filthy, and disgusting.

I like you..

2011-10-29T02:26:00.001+08:00

I like you, love you, adore you, admire you, miss you...

I want you.

ily

2011-10-24T22:45:00.001+08:00

I love you b

Imya

2011-10-18T12:06:00.001+08:00

I miss you again......

Imy ily

2011-10-17T00:52:00.001+08:00

I don't wanna think so much.

I just want you to know.

That I miss you.
And I love you.

On the brink.

2011-10-14T23:32:00.001+08:00

On the brink,
Of falling apart totally.

TOTALLY.

Ain't working..

2011-10-13T08:39:00.001+08:00

This will not work if it is built on lies baby..
=<

You have no idea how hurt I am...

Music to my ear

2011-10-12T22:45:00.001+08:00

Your voice,
Made my day,
Sweet baby.

I miss you so much.
Hope you realize that I have sacrifice so much because of a simple reason.
Just 3 words.
I love you.

In fact, I love you too much.

May God watch over you for me.

Heart.. Broken

2011-10-11T02:54:00.001+08:00

I type and delete..
Type and delete..

I.. Was heartbroken. By the fact that all your classmates see you and her as a pair.
What about me?
I vanished in your life, your social circle. I ain't worth mentioning.

I had a bad dream. That JieLin told me you have been attached for quite a while and I don't know it.
I woke up in shock, and ran to the toilet to cry..

I broke down. I had no one to turn to..
I wanted to ask you why, why do you not tell your classmates that you have nothing going on with her and nothing would happen.
I wanted assurance, but how?
How am I to ask?

I had to turn to ZeHao for comfort.
You know who's the sharpest blade, so why hurt me with the sharpest blade you've got?

Why?????

Imy

2011-10-09T20:14:00.001+08:00

I miss you,
Did you realise??

I met you

2011-10-09T19:42:00.001+08:00

I met you.

(in my dreams)

Hey silly..

2011-10-08T13:32:00.001+08:00

Hey silly,
Few days backs, you wrote:
"it was never a wait, but a vow to make you happy with all I can"

Does it mean anything to Us?

<3 DPSY

It's been some time..

2011-10-05T01:30:00.001+08:00

It's been some time since I wrote to you..

I reminisce a lot these days.
And I miss you a lot.

My love just gets stronger for you.

<3 DPSY

Protection

2011-10-03T00:35:00.001+08:00

I am trying to protect myself..
No idea how long this shield would last...

Sad

2011-10-01T04:28:00.001+08:00

Sad.

D

2011-09-29T13:26:00.001+08:00

You tweeted "Proud of you D"..
But, who is D?

You previously tweeted "Hope you're fine D"...

And so, it wasn't me?
Who is it?
=(

Do you know?

2011-09-29T00:20:00.001+08:00

I ain't sure if you understand this feeling,
But is hurts to see pictures of you and her together.

Do you know?

It makes me lose the confidence of believing that you love me.. And only me..

I miss you.

2011-09-28T14:47:00.001+08:00

This post will be short.

Cos I just wanna tell you,

I. Miss. You.

Your silly girl misses her busy bee.

"thanks b"

2011-09-27T22:24:00.001+08:00

You sent me "thanks b"

I am delighted, happy, exhilarated, ecstatic, blissful, overjoyed, elated, radiant!

CONTENTED!

<3 DPSY

Wounded (again?)

2011-09-27T16:08:00.001+08:00

Yeah....
Wounded again.
Everyday, every minute, every second, every moment.

Hoping to drag myself up on my feet once again soon.
Before you walk too far ahead of me,
Before I lose sight of you.

Ultimately, I meant nothing still..

2011-09-25T23:52:00.001+08:00

Dropping a text seem to take a death toll on you..

Hate why I bother so much.
When it doesn't even mean anything to you..
Hate why I always make an excuse for you, to forgive you.

And ultimately, I'm the only one at this.
You've brutally killed me.

A little too much?

2011-09-24T22:31:00.001+08:00

How is me saying "I love you" a little too much?

Do you want me to move on?
Is that what you actually want?

Stupidity

2011-09-24T01:40:00.001+08:00

I may be stupid, but, it is only for you.

I will wait for you.
Bravely.
Just as long as you don't hurt me too much.

I don't have any medications,
And I do not wish to let anyone nurse me, except you.

<3 DPSY

Lies..

2011-09-22T03:29:00.001+08:00

You brought your phone...
at least till airport..
So why lie?

Why?
Tell me, how do I trust you?
Where should the foundation of trust be built on? Your lies?

You and me.

2011-09-22T01:12:00.001+08:00

Wished I could be the one beside you now..

With you to a place where there's just you and me..

Hope you'll enjoy your trip and come back to me soon.

Wishing you and me,
Will become Us,
Once again.

Your flight, became my fight..

2011-09-20T22:08:00.001+08:00

I am worried,
That you'll develop feelings for her on Korea..
You have no idea how bad this feels.

Or perhaps you do..
When Harvey and I was together..
Please recall....

Why?

2011-09-20T20:34:00.001+08:00

Why won't you speak?
And tell me?

Your feelings........

A great feeling...

2011-09-19T21:55:00.001+08:00

It is a great feeling to be able to text you the first thing right after my exams.

I regretted not cherishing the days...

Human beings are so stupid, to not learn to cherish until it's too late..

Wished I was smarter.

Since...

2011-09-19T08:16:00.001+08:00

Although you didnt admit you love me...
You didn't deny you don't either..
So it means you do right?

I mean, if you don't, then it wouldn't matter, and you would just tell me you dont.
But you didn't..
Hopefully, it isn't because you feel like you owe me, so you are not rejecting me...

It is really really killing me to keep my heart hanging on a thin string..
Where I'll have to guard it day and night, making sure it would fall onto the ground; wounded.
It's just a certain night, where I'm sure about you. Where I can go to sleep at ease, knowing that my heart won't fall, and the string you made me tie my heart on, is safe.

When will you tell me..? The truth...

Everytime I recall the moment you held my hands at kbox, the first few dates when you were trying to convince me your love, and told me how much I meant to you all these while, where tears filled your eyes.

Do you still love me?

I think I know..

2011-09-19T01:08:00.001+08:00

I think I know you love me..
Do you?

The textings..

2011-09-17T22:01:00.001+08:00

The messages..
Showed me things I dont wish to believe.

Yet my stupid heart defends you..

Yesterday, I made a wish..
I first wished to do well for my exams,
Then I changed my mind.
I wished for us to be together again.
And I changed my mind again.
I wished for you to love me.
Hilarious much, I changed my mind again.
I wished for you to be happy..

And finally, ...
It hit me..
All I wish for, is for myself to be happy.

I miss my smile..
I miss being happy.

Sorry..

2011-09-16T22:17:00.001+08:00

Sorry, but...
What's "shoes stepping"?
And why do you love it?...

Lonely journey (not today)

2011-09-16T20:44:00.001+08:00

I am happy and contented with your company back home today.
Although it is just a company over the phone.

So glad you shared so much with me.
There was actually a lot I wanted to ask..
But I knew that the answers would not change anything between us..
And it may even break my heart.
So I decided to not ask at all.

I hope you are happy.
And I hope you'll allow me to just love you like that..

Sweetbby,

I miss you & I love you still.

<3 DPSY

Dear Ex-boyfriend..

2011-09-16T00:13:00.001+08:00

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

I miss you..

Loving you still,
Your Ex-Girlfriend

A good night sleep.

2011-09-15T10:50:00.001+08:00

You texted me last night..

You must have felt how much my heart misses you..
I miss you bb...

Always be my baby...

<3 DPSY

Miracle kiss

2011-09-15T00:14:00.001+08:00

I miss those days where kisses cure everything in this world.

When I'm down, when you are down..
When I'm grumpy, when you are angry..
When I am losing, and I want you to give in.
When the world turned its back on us, and we are in our darkest moment, our kiss, rekindles faith.

I miss being held in your arms.

I miss conquering the world with you.

When will you be mine again?

Is it for me?

2011-09-14T23:39:00.001+08:00

I wonder if "like a boomerang" and "goodnight pb" were meant for me....

=|

I miss you so so so much..

A mind full of you..

2011-09-13T22:49:00.001+08:00

Dear Bee,

I miss you a lot....
Hope you got yourself herbal tea.

I was walking home in a rain today..
And I had a little wish.
"I hope we could walk in the rain together someday.
Giggle and laugh, or even run for shelter, hand in hand..
Then both fall sick the next day. And giggle about how silly we were again.
But kiss each other well (since we are both sick)."

I wish.....

<3 DPSY

Your smell..

2011-09-13T12:25:00.002+08:00

I miss your smell so much!!!!!!

The nice smelling you..
The one where its in the noon..
The one at night...
Or even the sweaty you..

I miss your smell..

Your concerns..

2011-09-10T23:08:00.001+08:00

Thanks for being concern today..

You don't know how beautiful it was to know.

The fact that I struck your mind when your eyes twitched all day,
Must have meant that I meant something..

(a bit thick-skinned; considering that you might have asked her too)

But, having a place in your heart is good enough.
I hope I'll win you back someday.

I'm envious she gets ur attention without the need to fret.
Whenever I am sick and want your concern, I can't even tell you, afraid that it might come across as attention-seeking...

But, I am happy today.

So I am saying this,
I love you.
Denise loves you, Tan Wei Long.

Your arm,

2011-09-10T14:56:00.000+08:00

I only wanna hold one person's arm,
And that's yours.

Thank you

2011-09-09T00:06:00.001+08:00

Thank you for being here for me..
Your presence is all I ask for.

I really thank you.

I love you bby.

Listening ear

2011-09-08T22:51:00.002+08:00

I am sad today...
But I can't turn to you anymore...
And I don't have anyone else to share with...

Tell me how?
I scared I won't hv enough money to complete my studies..

Can I talk to you??

(no, I can't...)

Agony

2011-09-08T01:03:00.004+08:00

Your tweets are all about her...
And I...
Have completely evaporated in your life.

I am down to zero.
I mean nothing.

Who's smile do you love?
Who do you want happiness and bliss in?
Who is the lucky yet stupid chap who do not understand the word cherish; who's the girl?
Why would she shoo you away if you offer one? What were you offering?
Why must you say she would wanna kiss you? Why kiss? (don't you know it hurts me?)

Dear Boy,
I am heartbroken..

Horrible still..

2011-09-07T09:50:00.002+08:00

I tried to sleep it away...
But I woke up feeling horrible..
And terribly bitter too.

I dreamt that I texted you and called you cos I couldn't resist the urge to.
I think I am afraid that you'll forget me.
I am wishing hard that it isn't what it seems like it is.

Tell me everything is the same,
And nothing changed,
And you love me still...

Cos I do.......

<3 DPSY

I saw this coming... Didn't I?

2011-09-07T01:22:00.002+08:00

You change your Facebook profile picture..
I saw this coming.. Didn't I?

But why am I still so wounded?

Just know this,
All this pain I am going through now...
All this distancing I do now...
It's all for you.
It is all because of one reason..,
I love you,
And I want you to be happy.

I love you, Tan Wei Long.

Your exams..

2011-09-06T23:21:00.001+08:00

Your exams are over...
I hope to share your joy with you....
But... It seems like it will not be happening..

I miss you a lot.
And I hope you realize this..

<3 DPSY

All I want now..

2011-09-06T14:30:00.002+08:00

All I want now, is a text from you..
To know I still meant something.......

Cos I miss you dearly..
And I love you more than you know...

<3 DPSY

A dream

2011-09-05T10:13:00.003+08:00

I miss you so much so much.....
I couldnt even talk to you in my dreams..
I had hide from you.. And you never cared to give me a second glance..

My sweet baby, do well in your exams today..
Though you don't get to hear this..
I hope your heart still feels for me..
Cos I hope you can feel my concern for you.

Silent torture

2011-09-04T12:33:00.003+08:00

I don't like having to come here.
Because in here, I gotta pour out my painful heart.

I have lost track on how long have we not contacted..
(4days, I recalled)
I don't know what to feel..
Happy? That I did well?
Sad? That this is finally happening?
Had to go through the pain of having menses cramp and struggling to not seem to be in pain in school.
Popped my medicine and ended up really drowsy...
Sleeping wherever I am.
Friends asked what happened to me..
I asked myself, will you care for me?
Wished you were there with me. To sent me home..
Cos I din have money with me that day, so I had to take a bus home.
But I doubt I could survive not falling asleep on the bus and reaching home without missing my stops.
But... I did it.
Without you.

I don't know how you handled this. It seems so easy for you.
Makes me sad to think that, maybe it meant nothing to you in the first place,
That's why it is so easy.

I feel horrible..
Torn apart.
Riped into a million pieces.
I can barely find myself.

Perhaps, you'll never feel how I feel...

If you love me..

2011-09-01T21:13:00.002+08:00

If you really love me,
And care for me.
You should know that all I ask for, is for you to not hurt me.

Will you not associate yourself with her unnecessarily?
You claim that she's your classmate, it is unavoidable,
But you know you could, if you want to.
I am not asking you to not contact her at all.
Just for you to not be so flirty with her..

Tears

2011-08-31T00:17:00.003+08:00

I am so upset tonight.
Having to realize you fell for her unknowingly.

You hurt me like no others had.
It is the deepest cut, in the most drastic manner.

I have no one to speak to.
Because I do not wish anyone to share my unhappiness.
All I could do, it tear my way home and shed bitter tears in my shower.
When I see familiar faces, I got to immediately wipe of those sadness and embrace a smile on my face.
How ironic. How silly my life is.
But all I have is this pathetic space of mine, and a little broken heart to listen to my own pain.
Console myself that it'll be alright, though I know I ain't.
Fake a smile and move on with life.
When I dont mean what I say,
When I dont do what I want.

I know we can never be together again,
But who am I kidding?
Cos I'll never believed in it although I said it myself.

I hope I'll have the courage to remove our pictures from Facebook tomorrow.
I hope you'll know how to private your tweets.
I hope you'll never text me again.
I hope you'll never appear in my life ever.

I hope I'll die tomorrow so all these pain will go away.

i wish you happiness

2011-08-26T20:23:00.001+08:00

Today, i will let you go.

Tonight, i will let us go.

and

Tomorrow, i will start anew.

without you.

Always,

<3 DPSY

Why do this to me?

2011-08-25T06:35:00.002+08:00

No words can explain what I need to say.
And I don't know what happened to you.
I am exhausted..
Truly tired.
Your words that motivates my day, wounded my heart deeply. But I turned to youu, for more. And got hurt more.
You are afraid of me.. Such awful words... You said it 3 times.
I have no idea what are you trying to do.

You lied to me, but refuse to let me know what..
But why?
I don't know how to move on.
I know you ain't worth it anymore. And I should keep my promise that that would bethe last of us.
For you, I have sacrificed so much. You have worn me down so much..

Why do this to me..?

"silly girl, goodnight"

2011-08-22T01:23:00.002+08:00

22 august 2011, 1:12am

I said, "Alright... I love you! Night!!"
You replied me, "Silly girl, goodnight"

I know I will have a sweet dream tonight..

Last night, I broke out in sweat, 'cause I dream that you left me..
I was glad it was a dream.

I pray this will be over soon.

<3 DPSY

Date me pls?

2011-08-21T01:43:00.002+08:00

I miss dates with you.
Although we always squabble, I enjoyed every word we exchanged, every glare we we show each other, which eventually ends up with a laughter.

I wanna make you cheesecake,
Cook you lunch,
Make you your favourite chawandan.

Will you tell me how much you miss me and love me?

I love you very much!

<3 DPSY

Angry!

2011-08-19T22:03:00.002+08:00

I am super angry!

Unintentional or not, you still called me an ass!
First I was the sweetest lady, then you called another girl that.
I closed my eyes.
Now you called me an ass!
Asshole just say asshole lah!
What about bitch? Slut? Fuck you?

You are so hurtful!
I closed my eyes now because you are very happy today, I can sense so.
And you are meeting Edwin and Amos, so I keep quiet..
But wth!

I am so angry! Sosososo angry!
Bur what can I do?!
All I can do is keep quiet!

Silent night with love.

2011-08-17T00:28:00.004+08:00

I am happy!
Elated!!!

You text me before you slept!
And that means the world to me!!

Tuck in tight baby!

(I'll tuck you in myself if I could. I think I will sneak onto bed and hug you over your blanket though)
Hahahah!

Lotsa <3 DPSY

Silent night...

2011-08-17T00:09:00.003+08:00

Today, I am not gonna text you goodnight.
And I hope tonight, you will initiate the goodnight....

What a stupid thing to do, I know..
But, how much do I mean to you?
I really don't know anymore..

What if you don't text me goodnight?
What if my existence doesn't make a difference to you tonight?
What if this makes me sad later?
I really have no idea, so many "what if"zz..

Fml

<3 DPSY (I love you)

Loneliness

2011-08-16T11:17:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I should ignore you instead..
You don't seem to like my presense..
I'm like a stupid and irritating girl that bugs you for attention..

I love you.....
And I miss you..

I figured out you don't wish to meet me anymore...
And I can't never step into your life for now.

I don't understand why still.
What have I done?
Why are things like that..

How can you live through each day like nothing significant happened.
All that matters to you are your photography and projects.

And my well-being has turn to nothing.
How do I live a day genuinely happy?

Losing my rights...

2011-08-14T22:58:00.001+08:00

I've lost my rights to love,
And I've lost my right to worry too?

*sigh*

In reply to your "don't be like this"

2011-08-13T16:01:00.003+08:00

You think I enjoy doing so?
Losing all the virtues a girl ought to have and throwing myself at you.

Everytime I tell you my feelings, you would push me away.
All I can rant at this stupidly small space that no one would see.

You ask me to be nice to myself, ain't I being nice to myself?
Ironically, everytime I be true to myself, you would push me away, letting me fall hard on the ground.
And what do I do?
Weep? Rant? (I wish so hard to get knocked down by a car everyday!)
Tan Wei Long, all I can do is get back up on my feet and be nice to myself AGAIN!

Why deny your love for me?
Why don't you be true to yourself, to me? To us?
I don't wish to go hugging and kissing another man just for you to realize what you have been missing.

I just want to to be honest and bold.
Can you?

<3 DPSY

A journey back home

2011-08-11T20:04:00.003+08:00

Bus-rides alone triggers my tear glands.
And the coldness that blows over my shoulder reminds me of you; how much warmth you provided.

Queueing alone without you or your voice makes the world so quiet.
Staring out of the window without seeing your reflection is like the world of people just disappeared along with you.

I am alone, conquering my ride home.
Despite getting back home unwounded physically, I know I have already lost this battle..
And I know, tomorrow, is another day of the Battle of Survival Without You.

I miss you.

<3 DPSY

Day 7

2011-08-10T10:03:00.002+08:00

It is Day 7 of singlehood.

I love my baby a lot and I know this will someday not matter anymore because,

You love and and I love you and this is all that matters.

I cant deny I feel REALLY insecure at times.

But when you shower me with your love, I know I can live well waiting for you =)

It was National Day yesterday and I didnt get to celebrate it with you again.

It is disappointing...

Sometimes, it makes me wonder if you'll be celebrating your 21st with your group of friend and families and without me.

I know you dont celebrate, but I also know that, if you friends insist to celebrate for you, you would allow them.

I pray that I get to have you for myself on that special day. I dont ask you to put me before your family, just for you to see me before your friends.

I love you, Tan Wei Long.

<3 DPSY

A bad decision

2011-08-07T09:18:00.003+08:00

I am never great at making decisions. But this is the best I could do for now.

I know I am really stupid to have done what I had done.

I know all that everyone was seeing these days (i dont know how long will it stay like this), is a plain white screen that flashes my secret shoutout everytime you refresh.

However, trust me, this was really the best I could do at this moment in time.

I guess my post from this day onward, is only dedicated to one man.

One man I love dearly, One man I miss Massively.

I know when you are reading this, it will all be the past. And it may never be important anymore, and yes, because I was dumb enough to write all these to you, but not allowing them to reach you.

The 88days back in 2006, and the 4 years of waiting that follow,

brought us together again in 2010.

I am happy and never regretful, that I've never stopped loving you in this 4 years of waiting.

Then came the day you held my hands and kissed me on my lips in June 2010.

We contentedly dated for 1 year 2 mths, nevertheless you woke us both up from our sweet dreams.

I know, what an insult to call my beautiful Love a Dream, but it was just as beautiful as one.

We shared the good moments, and also the bad.

Like a dream, it was never an easy feat recalling every single detail.

Despite it being a short chapter of my life, you took up a whole year of my entire life showering me with devoted love & tender loving care.

We both set sail to a new phase in our tiny lives.

You,

embarked onto your future with baby steps, slowly arching forward everyday.

Stumbling and falling but growing up to the stubborn and independent age 1.

You no longer want me behind you, holding you, accompanying you, encouraging you.

embarked onto my journey of realising my childhood ambition of being a psychologist.

In a small and tiny school, I struggle through my painful everyday class that chokes me up with words, and words, and more words.

My charming reward was always when I get to hear your voice after class. It was so much more soothing than one can ever imagine.

It might have been exhuasting, studying and showering love to someone else at the same time, but it became so much more agonising living without know about your safety.

Bitter it may be, to leave this relationship behind,

Sour it could be, to turn at every bend to see that you are no longer there,

but it is sweet to have a piece of you at every little corner in my world.

Everywhere I go, these little pieces of you will never fail to remind me of you.

I guess I will never want to contaminate those sweet moments, so I will just stand at a corner reminiscing as I am afraid to duplicate these dreams with others or alone.

It is grueling, to stop crying and comprehend the reason behind.

But I believe I will try harder, for you.

What's 4 more years?

Those 88days lasted me 4 years,

this 1 year will last me 12 years right?

Dont give up Denise!

And dont you dare give up, Weilong!

We will see tomorrow together, I know we will.

Yours Truly,

DPSY (an initial you gave me)

To restore:

2011-08-07T09:14:00.000+08:00

i HEART paul frank.

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;body&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;div&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

!profile

yours truly

❤Denise Patrina

❤One golden rule, if you wanna criticize, use your own name. It's crap naming yourselves "Anonymous/Passerby", it's just a cowardly act. Call yourself "An Unwanted Visitor" instead

❤I love Red, Blue and Paul Frank.

❤"He's almost perfect. His flaws are acceptable"

!Feisty Princess Charmaine

be her superhero

❤FeistyPrincessCharmaine❤

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Do me a HUGE favour, Click it. THANKS!!!

!tagboard

for we heart talking

!Test

they walk my life

Create your own Friend Test here

!archives

past tense

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!links

au revoir

AnnAnn

Azri

CheWei

JingXin

Jocelyn

Joel

Josiah

KokPern

Gorrie

Mabel

Pauline

❤PearlAn

SaiKen

Shafinah

ShiKang

Stephen

Valerie

Vanessa

❤Wanling

WeiJie

Wendy

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❤ZeHao

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!music

life without music is a lifetime regret

!credits

for i thank you

Designer

-bo long

Inspiration

-crash

-noor-sharifah

Image &Textures

-paul frank industries

-poked studios

Editing

-adobe photoshop cs2.

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Nuffnang!

2011-02-09T09:58:00.001+08:00

I participated!!
Catch I Am Number Four Movie starting from 24^th February 2011 and join the official Disney Studios Singapore Facebook& Twitter page!

wrong man?

2010-12-26T11:27:00.002+08:00

(i couldnt find a caterpillar pic, so a butterfly instead, HA)

I had a dream last night,

I dreamt that i dropped a gummy worm on the bed and i didnt realise it.

When darkness fall and i fell asleep, something weird crawled towards me!

Ya, it was the gummy worm!

The scary thing was that, it crawls REALLY fast!

Soon i realise it was a dream (which gummy worm crawls? so fast some more), but i couldnt wake up!

I tried so hard to wake up but i cant =(

It feels real bad when you wanna wake up from a bad dream but nothing you do makes you wake up.

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all =)

Christmas was boring for me.

tired from fast heartbeats...

2010-12-22T15:00:00.003+08:00

*ting!*

(my steamer just called for me, hah, eggs are ready for consumption)

Just before i go, short update.

Blogging with muscle aches on my biceps, shins, butt, lower back and shoulders plus right forearm.

All thanks to wb-ing yesterday.

I'm gonna look back into my schedule book to see how many sessions have i had soon =)

Riding with Chye was fun, you get free videography and photography.

Excluding the unglam-ness of being wet and exhausted.

There isnt much going on so far, except for project meetings and the nearing christmas.

Christmas might me weird this year for me, cos Dad wants to bring Me and my Denise Soo's Little Radar out for massive photo taking session.

I hope i get good dinner that night despite Christmas crowd (which i kinda hate).

long since a blogged

2010-12-19T23:07:00.002+08:00

*feather duster dusting dust away*

(wow, all the dustS)

Oh well... 've been SOOOOOOOOOO long since i blogged.

Where should i start?

My mp is over =)

Presentation went well despite all the rushing and last minute sweating.

Report was filled with content i believe. I would give myself a BIG B =)

I have also completed my 3 project reports that were due in the same few days and a test after which.

I have so little sleep everyday that week.

I would say maybe an average of 3 hrs a day.

and YAH, cos i did last minute work, blame myself.

I've been very deprived of the outside world.

So whenever i see food outside, i'll eat.

Whenever i see clothes that were just Okay, i'll buy.

Now i believe i'm fat and broke.

I'm gonna wb on tues, i hope my period stay away till wed.

I guess i'll be nothing more than a beginner since i stopped for more than 6 months (Yah, time really flies yea?)

Anyway, because I upgraded from my MacBook to MacPro, my safari bookmarks are all gone. So i gotta keep a lookout for blogshops all over again.

(and stalk people secretly Again, back from start)

I got monopoly deal too! Cos everyone is playing it and i'm jealous.

I love my little mini monopoly most still *love*

Creme'me turned 2 on 26 Nov 2010, and i din celebrate for her!

I am a bad mum!

Couldnt find her a cake in time, bought her cheese instead.

Her cheese smells phenomenal!

I'm gonna try it someday =)

I pass TP too btw, I have a license now.

However, (sadly) i do not dare to drive cos i freak out the next second after I make up my mind to rent a car.

This is basically because i cant get around the roads at all. After 2.5 years of travelling to school by dad's car, i am still unable to recognise the way to school. I suck.

I played L4D2 for my very first time!

Brought by FeiLong's Dad, His Gayfriend Liang and his Girlfriend.

I am a pretty lousy teammate i would say.

Cant even walk. (laugh loh)

It is kinda addictive honestly, minus dying all-the-time.

My brain registers to shoot white figures, which most the time, applies to the vampires?

Despite so, Feilong's dad was also in white!

At the start of the game, he told me i could shoot him all i like, "nevermind".

Towards the end of the game, he went, "WHO SHOT ME?!! DONT SHOOT ME! IF I DIE, EVERYONE DIES TOO!!!" -.- (so much so for "nevermind")

I have been emo-ing lately too.

Have been trying to sort things out.

Things are better now =)

I cut my hair too!

Rebonded it though it isnt straight at all.

But i like it this way.

I told dad,

"when i go for cosmetic surgery, i dont want others to know i did, so i wont wanna be too obvious. I want to look natural"

Not that i will, since i dont have these extra money anyway.

But the theory is like, i wont go for a D or E cup. It's plain obvious.

Anyway, i have soft hair now.

Christmas is nearing, i hope to get myself the red canon/crumpler dslr bag.

I hope to master the skill of using a dslr too.

Sometimes i think that i am not at all nice.

I have no idea why would anyone think so.

I am just scheming.

But i guess no one knows.

I dont like my attitude, so ill-bred, unappreciative, indecisive, greedy, selfish and definitely Very scheming and cunning.

Okay, i shall not leak too much of my secrets tonight.

I'll update more often if time allows.

Night my darling, baby, sweetie.

Closure 2010

2010-11-07T23:00:00.002+08:00

i have decided to stop blogging for the moment.

i know i have already DID stop blogging for a while (haha).

Life for this month will be me trying to complete my Major Pjt.

i am not madly in love anymore, maybe its the age.

i feel i am passed the crazily-in-love age.

however, i feel blissful where i am and with what i have.

not entirely satisfied with everything in my life,

but i am trying to make do with them.

daddy is drowning me with love,

tolerating my willfulness and buying me everything that a girl would want (and not need).

i have managed to get my love back.

he makes me happy, and at times,

i do small little magic tricks to make him happy.

i feel sorry to all that i have let down.

i will try to make it up.

I Love You Mummy

2010-10-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday to You.

Your Princess,
Denise.

Just plain fun & innocence

2010-07-10T20:17:00.003+08:00

I have said this SO many times.

But yes, my blog is dead.

Like always.

Work is:

MUNDANE.

I am a fortunate person.

I am well loved.

It's probably Mummy's doing, waving her fairy wand upon everyone, making them love me so much.

I have recently fell in love with jellyfish.

I wonder when will I fall for squid?

It's like rubber, why does anyone like it in the first place??

(Why do I always start with an 'I' "??

Anyway, part of my life is very enjoyable now.

It was always my dream to have my life revolving around my bestfriend.

My dream was to just have a life with friends, random meet ups, chilling out at the other party house(since mine is not available) doing girly stuff, gossiping

and of cos,

buying salad for them.

Year 3.1 is ending soon..

Project due is drawing closer and things are not even starting.

BAAAAAD.

Everything seems to clash with work, we just cant seem to get started.

I dont know how will I get to a Uni with my grades.

Wb seems like a dream to me too.

Everything seems to drift further and my future seems blurred.

Pearl An,

you know, love isnt complete without family?

My love wouldnt be complete without my Dad..

Everyone teases me about how blissful I am,

but, it's always more than just being blissful.

Pearl An,

Learn to fight,

get yourself a strong armor,

I'll cushion the ground for you.

Cheryl,

Life is SOOOOOO much better with you around.

All who doesnt know it, are just gonna lead a regretful life.

(i am not just refering to who you think i am)

No matter what happens in future, there's always Me.

My silence doesnt mean ignorance or reluctance,

I am just listening.

In life, it's not about getting advices all the time.

Sometimes, you just gotta try to step out on your own,

if you have complains, like whisper it out, I'm just beside you listening.

I will watch over you, if i see a huge man-hole in front, I wont let you Try to fall into it just to see what's in there. (Unless i know it's haven)

Blong

2010-06-13T15:39:00.004+08:00

Yes, i wanted to.

From the bottom of my heart, i threw it far back into my head, but somewhere in that corner, there is this note, that states,

"Forever, i wish, cos i still want to".

Updates:

I made barley, for the first time in my life! Saved one for Darling!

I'm gonna get iphone 4!

I am fatter already.

I began to start slacking at work.

I began to Love my work.

I wanna work with kids, a sudden urge. Childcare centre maybe?

I am starting to be healthy. (but not cheryl-lish!)

I am starting to feel more 19-ish.

I cant be bothered by what i wear to work already.

(i forgot what i wanted to say)

Hahaha! Anyway, work is fun and i am enjoying.

No more stupid 'sai gang' work.

HEADLINE!!!! I ALMOST FORGOT!

I PASSED FTT!

andandand, daddy ask me to get a car that sits 7!

Yes babes, lucky 7 us!

I feel very happy that Daddy said that.

It shows how much he see in my friends and i.

As much as i explained how much i dont like such a big car and how ugly it is(cos i am so small and i will look tiny in it),

he kept saying that car will sit us 7 perfectly and comfortably.

baby baby baby ooooo

2010-05-28T16:49:00.002+08:00

Have been REALLY busy these weeks.

Lotsa events to run.

Did i boast about me being an event coordinator for a day?

Hahaha. 6 hours to be exact.

Manage to make time out for some fun too.

Helped suhui's 'future sister-in-law" for her portfolio and test.

Was a young bride for the day.

So much fun.

Had my first off-day on 25th May.

And i lost my file yesterday during my event.

I wanna die desperately.

I need to get it back as soon as possible.

Just celebrated Suhui's birthday on the 24th since we are all busy people.

Haha, had great fun doing her Barnhouse.

Bet you all dont get me, will upload pictures soon.

The rest of the pictures are with suhui though.

Had Astons and fed pearl an BEEF!

Driving have been massively great.

I feel so proud of myself,

I'm looking forward to learn parking.

Met darling Cheryl just yesterday for dinner.

So much fun talking, and we realised time flies!

Our birthdays are coming.

I hope to see baby on my birthday.

Ending off, thanks Clara =)

Awfull day

2010-05-13T20:21:00.003+08:00

i feel lost today.
Had a bad morning, dad called me an idiot for a good whole 45 minutes non-stop.

Lucky work was fine, didnt get reprimanded for anything.

In fact everyone keeps asking me to do stuff.

work keeps on piling up my to-do list.

I stained my pants today.

like freaking TWICE.

how dumb right?

seriously a total idiot.

(gosh i feel like crying cos even I think I am an Idiot)

Washed it off and quietly sat at my desk with my wet pants on since my dad is mad at me and i cant expect him to get pants from home for me.

Everyone else is simply far, so Fat Hope.

Boyfriend was unhappy with me too, so Definitely a bad choice to ask him.

Today is an AWFULL day.

I hate this day.

2010-05-06T22:45:00.001+08:00

Look what i've got for you Cheryl!

Now you'll want to meet me more than before =D